


Spread the Word

by specimen_f



Category: Hetalia - Axis Powers
Genre: America's kids are terrible, Gen, Humor, Mornings, Parody, Religious Themes & References, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-08-20
Updated: 2011-08-20
Packaged: 2017-10-22 17:13:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 7,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/240461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/specimen_f/pseuds/specimen_f
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Don't you hate having to answer the door to religious people in the morning? Well today people of the Jehovah's Witnesses faith are determined to convert America but the states keep getting in the way. Going to be many drabbles of the same day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Florida's Glory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer:I do not own Hetalia; no matter how much I wish I did. Alfred will never be mine. And that makes me sad. D: Forgive my religious mockery I just don't like people chatting me up about religion in the morning.

America's House – 7:03 AM

It was a quiet morning in the American household. Alfred and all of his fifty states were asleep soundly in their many beds. From the rowdy bi-monthly state meeting the day before they were all hoping for a nice long morning to snooze. They had spent most of the afternoon and well into the night trying to come to some sort of agreement about the most ridiculous things. It never seemed to matter how many times Alfred told hid kids they never wanted to accept that they had to stay out of the international conferences no matter how _helpful_ they would be.

Finally they had stopped yelling at him long enough to reach an agreement involving many promises of loud and uncontrollable parties at the White House and that the bushy-eyebrow man wasn't invited. After this they all barely made it to bed before they passed out. However this was not going to be a morning of rest at all because not a minute later the doorbell began to reverberate throughout the house. The sound traveled to the closest bedroom which belonged to the sunny state of Florida.

Slowly Phillip opened his sleep-laden eyelids as the sounds of the doorbell traveled through his room. The fluorescent lights of the alarm clock on his nightstand told him it was barely seven in the morning. The doorbell rang several more times through the large colonial home. He knew he probably get up and answer it and he slowly rolled himself out of bed with a slight thud as his feet hit the floor. As he opened the door to leave his room he could not help but feel like something was wrong. He dismissed this thought as he nearly tripped over the plush carpet that covered the front hall.

The house was certainly a lot breezier this morning than it had been the past evening. The nagging feeling that he was forgetting something registered itself in his head once more as stumbled more than walked onward. Sluggishly he made his way to the front door and slowing even more when he began to unlock the various locks that bolted the steel door shut.

"Damn, the old man has gotten unbearably paranoid these days…" he muttered as he finally swung the heavy door open revealing two chipper young men in suits smiling sweetly and toting bibles with pride.

'Crap…I _knew_ that I should have used the damn peephole…' was all that was coherent inside the ditzy southern boy's mind at the time.

However before either of the two callers were able to begin their mission of spreading the Evangelical religion, the smiles that were spread across their faces began to fade into looks of both shock and disgust. Florida continued to stare at his visitors in sheer confusion as they began to steadily back away faster and faster until they turned and broke into a full-on run down the empty street. One of the two even started screaming like a small child while they both began to flail their arms as they made their way back to the other Jehovah Witnesses.

'What was that about…?' Phillip thought to himself as he began to adjust his boxers. But then he realized something. He wasn't wearing boxers. The blond teenager glanced down impishly at his naked geography that was exposed to the world and rubbed his palm through his spiky hair covered head nervously.

"Guess they have never seen an all-over tan before…" he said to himself as he walked slowly back inside and to bed once again nearly avoiding a nasty fall across the wooden hallway floor as he walked the spacious hall of his father's home.

'At least it wasn't _Cuba_ ,' Florida thought to himself as he fell into the soft and welcoming embrace of the covers and sheets and closed his eyes once more; still very much naked mind you.


	2. Alabama's Boomstick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer:I do not own Hetalia; no matter how much I wish I did. Alfred will never be mine. And that makes me sad. D: Forgive my religious mockery I just don't like people chatting me up about religion in the morning.

America's House – 7:28 AM

Inside the American household everyone was still sleeping away as any good-natured and healthy Americans should be on Sunday mornings. At least that was what Alabama was trying to do anyway. Nearly half an hour before she had been awoken from her sleep when the doorbell had rung she had figured it was Florida who had answered because the door across from hers had opened and the ringing had stopped. But since then she could not manage to fall back asleep. At the moment she was laying in her bed with a pillow over her head to block out the slight rays of sunshine coming through her window.

Just as her heavy eyelids were about to finally close the doorbell rang once more. At first she tried to just ignore it. But then there was a loud pounding on the front door that shook the walls of her room. That could not be easily ignored. She practically ripped the pillow off of her face and threw it across the room before she grabbed her sawed-off shotgun Helen and tore out her room. She stopped outside her door which was across the hall from Florida.

Unfortunately for Katherine her ditzy brother Phil had left his door open from earlier. And had not even bothered covering himself up when he fell back to sleep. She visibly shivered at the sight. There are just some things that siblings do not need to share. After she regained her earlier thought process she stomped over the cold wooden floor causing her faded flannel nightgown to flutter behind her.

As she approached the threshold she noticed to locks were unlocked and jingling every time the morons outside pounded the damn thing. She took a deep breath and tried to center herself as she slowly opened the front door shotgun still in her other hand.

Standing on her father's spacious front porch were two people. One was a heavyset man with large hands. 'Thanks for nearly banging the door down asshole…' and the other was a timid younger woman. Both had deceptively warm smiles on their faces as the stared at her.

"Well Mis—" the man started before the cold metal sting of Helen's short barrel was felt against his right temple. Both of those cheery smiles vanished instantly as Katherine narrowed her cold pale blue eyes in anger.

"Listen up, 'cause I'll only say this once," Alabama said trying her best to suppress her thick country accent. "I don't care who you are or why you are here. I want you to leave…now."

This didn't seem to bode well with the female missionary as she confidently spoke up, "But Miss we are here to educate yo—".

That was when she snapped and could not control the pure twang that dripped all over the words that flew from her mouth as her face turned bright red in rage.

"Tha's it! I wan ya'll offa' ma daddy's propertay! An I wan ya'll off now!" She yelled while waving her shotgun like a madwoman.

There was no need for her to repeat herself again because by the time she could take another shot her early morning visitors were running down the driveway. But being the rowdy southern state that she was she continued firing shots after them until she felt a little better.

Katherine took another rather deep breath of air and brushed her sleep-matted blonde hair behind her ears and walked back inside shutting and locking the heavy door behind her. She decided to save everyone else the torture of seeing Florida in his condition and shut his bedroom door.

Finally she made it back to her own ever brightening room and gingerly climbed back into the cooling bed. "Who woulda thought threatenin' morons this early in the mornin' would be so tiring." She said to herself as she once again went back to the task of making herself fall back into the deep slumber she had in earlier.


	3. New Mexico's Little Buddy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer:I do not own Hetalia; no matter how much I wish I did. Alfred will never be mine. And that makes me sad. D: Forgive my religious mockery I just don't like people chatting me up about religion in the morning.

America's House – 7:49 AM

The first time that New Mexico realized that he was awake he had been half way nestled into the fridge and his head was sort of itchy. All he could remember was the sound of bells; a doorbell to precise. And there is was again. Maybe it wasn't from his dream after all. The sounds of _doorbells_ are never usually heard in the spaceships of most alien invaders anyway.

As he began to remove himself from the refrigerator he realized his face was stuck to the plastic shelf by his own slobber. Pennsylvania was always saying that it was nasty habit. Finally he closed the refrigerator door in hope to keep some of the chilly air inside. Once again the doorbell's sound caught his attention and with unusual quick reaction he turned his head too fast making it sore. Apparently he had been inside the fridge longer than he had thought.

"Who would want to be up at this hour anyway?" The warm desert state asked of himself with his trademark yawn and stretch finally ending as he scratched the back of his head trying to cease the infernal itch beneath his messy chocolate colored hair. "And why am I so itchy?"

Slowly Conrad began to work some life into his normally lackadaisical limbs. Once he got some feeling in his toes he trudged to the front door of America's immense household. Only after adjusting his black alien printed pajama pants did he answer the door with the speed _or lack there of_ that even a sloth would be envious of.

Even as he stepped into the bright morning light he could not relieve himself of his ever growing itch. With both hands still entangled in his choppy hair he opened his dark brown eyes to see who was abusing his father's doorbell.

Standing on the near pristine front porch of America were two young women that appeared to be a few years older than him. But they were not saying anything; only staring at him with their mouths agape.

All that New Mexico had wanted was to answer the door and go back to sleep and now he had two stupidos looking at him like he was a freak. So he decided that it was time to break the silence with a simple, "Que?".

At the sound the two missionaries jumped back and if it was possible their eyes grew even wider than they had been a few seconds ago. 'What is with these chicas?' Conrad thought to himself as his patience was wearing thin.

In order to get their attention again New Mexico took a step forward and this seemed to have an immediate affect because they began to scream about aliens not being real and running all the way down the sleepy little street. Growing bored of the bright sunlight he closed the heavily bolted door locking it once again.

Once again Conrad had to scratch at that infernal itch that was plaguing his head and only when he brought his arm down did his catch sight of his arm. It was _green_. He began to further inspect himself only to discover that he was green from head to toe. "Que?"

Then he felt the itch again and finally found the source of his discomfort. It was just Oscar. With a determined yank he pried the brain sucking alien slug from his head. Slowly the eerie green color of Conrad's flesh began to turn into its natural bronze coloring.

Looking down at the strange little alien creature that was nibbling on his hand he spoke, "So you are hungry? No wonder I woke up inside the fridge. Let's get something to eat then." Cupping the green slug in the palm of his hand New Mexico made his way back into the large family sized kitchen to fix them both a small breakfast before returning to his beloved slumber once again.


	4. Virginia's Bath Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer:I do not own Hetalia; no matter how much I wish I did. Alfred will never be mine. And that makes me sad. D: Forgive my religious mockery I just don't like people chatting me up about religion in the morning.

America's House – 8:10 AM

If there was one thing that Jolene loved about her father's house is that it was quiet in the morning. At any other time the house was alive with the sounds of video games and her brothers yelling about whom was the better sniper, overpowering the constant hum of the overworked microwave; but right now there were only the sounds of slight snoring to break the glorious silence of the brightening household. This was just the way that Virginia liked to start the day.

The only thing that could make this morning better would be a nice long warm shower. "Might as well take advantage of the quiet time," Jolene said to herself as she slipped into her slippers and padded her way to one of the hallway's bathrooms.

After closing the door Virginia unbraided her light brown hair from its long French braid and shook the strands free. She stepped towards the shower and twisted the handle of the faucet in the direction of hot. The water began to gradually heat up from its chilly temperature.

Just as the water had reached the perfect temperature the sound of a doorbell rang out over the running water. "Dammit', can't I even take a dam' shower around 'ere," complained the brunette exasperatedly.

Jolene pulled her robe around her tighter her body and stomped her way to the front door. She practically yanked the door open and stood there in anger as the porch was empty of visitors.

"What in the 'ell? Those dam' neighbor kids…" muttered the southern belle in distaste. 'Back to the shower…' she thought as she closed the ridiculously locked door.

From the front hall Virginia made her way back to the still heated bathroom. Once she was in arms reach of the faucet the doorbell went off again. Her brown eyes brows furrowed together in frustration and she went all the way back to the door.

"Ok, now what do y'all want?" Jolene asked as she opened the door more quickly this time. She was answered with only the swaying of the large oak tree in the front yard. Narrowing her green eyes heavily she quietly closed the door and pretended to walk away.

Standing as still as she could beside the completely unbolted door she was ready to pounce on her visitors. After a minute or so she could hear the sounds of footfalls on the wooden porch and hushed female voices.

"Alright we need to say this time. If we go back before they open the door the preacher will yell at us again," whispered one of the outside voices. "I know but you heard what the last group said. That boy had an _alien_ on his head. What is wrong with these people?" the other whispered back nervously.

'Oh they are in for it now,' Jolene thought to herself as she prepared to open the door. Not a second after the doorbell rang out she flung open the door and leapt out onto the porch. "Ok girlies, I'll give ya a choice. Y'all can leave this house right now or I can sic all my friends at the Pentagon on your sissy asses." As she finished Virginia could see all the color drain from the girls faces. "Well now, what's it gonna be?"

No more emphasis was needed because the previously occupied front porch of America was empty once again. The girls were already running down the driveway flailing their arms in fright and it even made Virginia smile.

"It always warms my heart to see stupid people in terror," she said to herself as she flipped her loose light brown hair over her shoulder and shut the front door. After locking all off America's many locks she practically skipped on the way back to the bathroom.

'Hopefully those morons will stay away this time,' Jolene thought happily when she finally shut the door and was able to relax.


	5. Texas' Chainsaw

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer:I do not own Hetalia; no matter how much I wish I did. Alfred will never be mine. And that makes me sad. D: Forgive my religious mockery I just don't like people chatting me up about religion in the morning.

America's House – 8:35 AM

Leaning up against the surprisingly clean kitchen counters stood Texas sipping the last of the morning's coffee. Bringing the blue bonnet adorned mug to her lips she took another long sip. Marlene took a deep breath and inhaled the warm smell as her older sister Jolene walked in with a towel wrapped around her hair.

"You will not believe the nerve of those missionaries, Marley!" Virginia began to rant. The larger state turned her curly blonde head to look at the brunette in interest.

"What missionaries?" asked Marlene almost excitedly. "The ones that were playing ding dong ditch earlier!" Shouted Jolene as she began to unwrap her still damp hair from its towel.

"Ya think they'll be back?" questioned Texas as she sipped some more of her coffee. "I certainly hope not! But if they do, you have to scare them for me!" answered Virginia as she stormed out of the large kitchen.

"Maybe I will…" Marlene said to herself as she began to enjoy the bitter taste of her favorite morning drink once more. 'When it comes to scaring unwelcome guests there is only one proper way to do it.' The blonde thought to herself as she made her way to her room.

Texas walked over to her dresser and gave herself an once-over look in the mirror and fixed the long blonde curls that exploded beneath her cowgirl hat. She then adjusted the blue and silver Cowboy jersey she wore over her dark blue shorts. "Might as well do this right." The second largest state commented as she turned away from her reflection.

Her dark blue gaze moved over to the corner of her room where sat a bright red chainsaw. The tool itself was clean and the metal began to shine when the sun rays hit it.

"Yep, if you are going to do it you gotta' do it right." Texas said to herself as she waited for the doorbell to ring.

After a few minutes of waiting Marlene began to get bored and decided to get breakfast started. She set down her chainsaw on the kitchen table and began to grab the fruit that sat in a large bowl on the same table. Carefully she began to make some freshly squeezed orange juice from the ones that Phillip had brought yesterday. She made a separate glass of grapefruit juice for herself from the fruit she had brought. Not a minute after she had finished washing the sticky citrus juice off her tanned hands did the door bell ring.

Texas dried her hands and went to the table and picked both her chainsaw and her cooling coffee mug and made her way to the front door. The door bell rang out again as she set her coffee on the table beside the heavily bolted door. After she finished unlocking the door she opening it with her warmest smile spread across her bright face.

Standing before her stood two rather defiant men both rather sturdy in size and presence. 'Let's see just how brave you really are.' Marlene thought to herself happily.

"Hello miss, we are here today to bring something to your attention," began the man to her left.

But before he was able to continue she brought the shiny chainsaw into view and pulled the string bringing it to life.

"Sorry boys, I didn't quite catch that could you come closer?" Texas called out over the sounds being produced by the machine.

But before they could answer she decided to take a step closer. Apparently this was to close for the men because they began to run from her advances screaming about crazy southern women.

Satisfied that she had emotionally scarred enough for the morning Texas shut off her chainsaw and went back inside her father's house. She set the tool down beside the door and picked up her neglected coffee mug. Taking the last sip of the now cold coffee she went back into the kitchen to finish making breakfast.


	6. Iowa's Cooking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer:I do not own Hetalia; no matter how much I wish I did. Alfred will never be mine. And that makes me sad. D: Forgive my religious mockery I just don't like people chatting me up about religion in the morning.

America's House – 8:48 AM

By the time Texas had placed her chainsaw Duke back in her room Iowa was searching through the kitchen for ingredients.

"Marley? Do you know who drooled in the fridge?" Alexander asked while rummaging through the large refrigerator.

"That was probably Conrad. I heard 'im in here earlier…" the larger state answered as she walked back into the kitchen to see the red head mixing up some eggs and milk in a bowl. Iowa just nodded and snagged several loaves of bread to begin making some French toast.

"So who was at the door earlier?" asked the smaller state as he placed two frying pans on the stove to heat up.

"Just some missionaries…they weren't too fond of Duke," replied the blonde with a small frown.

Iowa inwardly shivered at the thought of his older sister with her beloved chainsaw. Inwardly because showing fear around Texas was never a smart thing to do. Hell, she could probably smell it.

"Alex, your French toast is burning…" said Marlene from across the counter.

This caused the younger state to jump and flip the darkening piece of bread over in the pan. After the initial burning of the first piece of toast several plates were eventually covered with large stacks of hot French toast. Alongside the warm bread Texas had made a few plates of bacon and eggs. The delicious smell was sure to awaken even the heaviest sleepers within America's household. Including the still sleep-filled nation himself.

"I can smell food…" mumbled Alfred as he crossed the floor on his hands and knees sniffing the air as he entered the kitchen. "But I can't find it."

Marley could only stand in confusion with a plate of French toast in her hands as her father crawled over to her still sniffing. She shook her head and pulled a spare pair of glasses out of her pocket and placed it on his face. It took only a moment for his vision to adjust after that he snatched the plate out of her hands and went to the table.

Over the next few minutes several other states made their way into the kitchen following the smell of breakfast. The first was the youngest state Hawaii who was mumbling incoherently from the lack of coffee in her system. Vermont soon followed happily making his way to fridge in his cow suit pajamas. Kansas entered quietly bringing her small pink dog with her to the table. Tony also took a spot at the large table between America and Texas.

It was just barely over the noise of his family that Iowa was able to make out the sound of the doorbell ringing. Looking around at the table that was steadily filling up he decided to answer it himself. So with a large plate of still warm French toast still in hand the red head made his way to the door on the opposite side of the house.

Iowa had to shift the heavy plate into his other hand to open the door and wasn't surprised at the sight before him. A trio of young men greeted him with sickening warm smiles. Inwardly he shivered again and decided on what he had to do.

"G-good morning sir, we are here today to tell yo-" the first young man was soon cut off by an offending slice of French toast being shoved into his mouth. But before he could even try to swallow it another soon joined it. Followed by yet another. The other two men were looking at each other unsure of what they should do. This was soon decided for them as the first man dodge the fourth slice and ran off the porch trying to force the food down his throat.

"Care for some breakfast boys?" Alexander just asked sweetly before the other two guys ran after their friend to help him.

Iowa just sighed and shook his head. Some people just don't understand the necessity of a healthy breakfast anymore. It does the body so good. Before he shut the door he heard the quite sound of a soft voice. Only one person had the soft of a voice.

"Uncle Mattie?"

"Y-yes Alexander?" answered the taller blond as he came almost magically into view.

"Do you have any maple syrup?" the red head asked.

"Yes," replied Canada just before Alexander pulled him into the house and shut the door.

"The come inside and have some breakfast!"


	7. Hawaii's Coffee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer:I do not own Hetalia; no matter how much I wish I did. Alfred will never be mine. And that makes me sad. D: Forgive my religious mockery I just don't like people chatting me up about religion in the morning.

America's House – 8:56 AM

Breakfast within the American household was always a noisy and messy affair as per usual. This was only amplified when Iowa returned to the table dragging Canada along with him; because as soon as either of them had seated themselves the larger country was badgered for syrup.

"Mattie! We _need_ Maple Man!" whined Alfred before he stuffed another piece of toast in his mouth.

"I'm not Maple Man! Who even came up with that, eh?" replied Matthew as he handed a large bottle of maple syrup to his brother.

There was a shared silence as the Americans at the table glanced at each other nervously. No one was able to look Matthew in the eye for several minutes. Or rather when Washington came running into the kitchen followed closely behind by Louisiana.

"B-but Marie how was I supposed to know you meant _those_ kinds of vampires?" whined Washington as she cowered behind Texas.

"What do you mean _those_ kinds of vampires? There is only one kind of vampire! The non-sparkly kind!" Shouted Louisiana.

"What about Edward?" Audrey responded.

Louisiana visibly twitched and all but lost it, "What about _Edward_?"

Every person in the room country or state, human or extraterrestrial, psychotic or just stupid were at some extent beginning to ease away from the bayou state who was now beginning to shake violently in anger. For once it seemed that Canada was thankful for his ability to disappear.

There was a moment of complete stillness before Audrey leapt to her feet and began to make a break for the doorway into the living room. Marie let out a yell of frustration and ran off following the younger state throughout the house.

Once again the family members that were still seated at the table looked at each other and just shrugged it off returning their attention to their breakfasts. Canada decided to reappear and start up a conversation with Alfred about the Olympic Winter Games. Vermont was practicing his cow calls while Texas was helping Kansas calm her cowardly dog down.

It was at the time that Hawaii had woke up again and picked her head up from her empty plate. Lolani brushed aside the dark brown hair that had been covering her bright blue eyes and began to look around. Judging from the less fortunate pieces of French toast that covered the floor she had clearly missed something.

Then she saw it. In the earlier chase of the Evergreen state someone had knocked over the coffee pot and spilled the caffeinated deliciousness. It appeared that morning that Louisiana was not the only one to have a fit of rage.

"What the hell happened to my coffee? I _need_ my coffee!" the brown haired teen rushed over to the fallen brown liquid and began to mourn. "Of all things great and just why did it have to be the coffee?"

As if on cue, Washington came running back into the kitchen with visible splotches of coffee on her jammies.

"It was you!" was all she heard before Hawaii joined up with Louisiana in hot pursuit. By the time they made the second round of the front hall the doorbell rang. Perhaps from a mistake in judgment Lolani stomped over to answer it.

She flung the heavy door open in a fit of rage eyes wide even from the caffeine deprivation. At the sudden action the young girls outside the door were taken aback and nearly spilled their Starbucks on themselves.

"God damnit why does everyone get coffee but me!" Hawaii screamed in frustration. The girls had apparently thought it better to get out of there and were already down the driveway. The brunette just stayed there yelling at nobody in particular when Iowa came up and hesitantly tapped her on the shoulder.

"Loli, we found some more coffee…"

In a split second the Aloha state began to prance her way back into the kitchen with a bright smile on her face. Alexander just stared after her for a minute before following in suit.

"Freak…".


	8. Vermont's Waffles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer:I do not own Hetalia; no matter how much I wish I did. Alfred will never be mine. And that makes me sad. D: Forgive my religious mockery I just don't like people chatting me up about religion in the morning.

America's House – 9:04 AM

Once the youngest of the states had recovered from her caffeine withdrawal breakfast had calmed down considerably as most of the early risers made their way out of the kitchen and various other states hungrily stumbled in.

Jacob was still fiddling with the waffle maker as he made his own much more preferred breakfast when Kentucky walked in and made himself a bowl of frosted flakes at the large island in the middle of the kitchen.

New York also made his way into the large family hub scrubbing the sleep from his eyes and asked nobody in particular, “So, did I miss breakfast or what?”  
Jacob who wasn’t really listening was too busy humming an unrecognizable song to himself ignored him while Kentucky shook his head and shook the recently discarded cereal box at the black haired state in front of him.

New York grumbled to himself but took the offered box and went to make his own bowl at the table. While Virginia finally walked back into the kitchen and visibly shivered at the state of the family table. 

“Why are you all so damn messy?!” She glanced around the room at her brothers who carefully avoided her gaze with the exception of Vermont who was happily munching on his third waffle. 

Virginia flipped her re-braided hair over her shoulder and waved her hands in the air before stacking up the plates from the tabled and carrying the over to the double sink.  
Vermont was just about to cut up and devour the last of his precious waffled when the doorbell was heard throughout the house once again.

Although the boys were unable to see it there was a visible twitch that went across Virginia’s face. She made a half-scream and started scrubbing the plates a lot more violently.  
Kentucky and New York paled at the display and wisely crept away from the kitchen.

The doorbell made itself known once again and that was when Vermont finally decided to make himself useful and answer the door. He extracted himself from the table and decided to take the waffle with him.

As he walked out of the kitchen into the main hall he could hear his family in the game room upstairs and almost took a peek when the doorbell went off again. He shrugged his shoulders and held the waffle in his mouth when he finally made it to the door.

It took him a few minutes to make sense of all the locks before he could even open the door but once he got it open it revealed two middle-aged women with a looks of mock kindness.

“Good morning sir, we’re here today to talk to you about the greatness of-“

“Mmmghhhmggff?” He asked around the waffle.

“Umm, as I was saying. We want to tell you about the importance of-“

“Mmmfhgseffshfg!” Vermont said much more excitedly and began to wave his arms in incomprehensible gestures to go along with his ‘words’.  
Just as he was about to make another point the drool that had formed around the waffle in his mouth made a puddle at their feet and as the ladies carefully stepped back from the state they lost their footing.

“Mmmhmmphg?” He asked with a tilt of his head at their disgusted expressions. They started at him and then each other before they quickly got to their feet and ran from the house.

“Mmgh?” He mumbled to himself as he watched them go and just shrugged his shoulders and made his way back inside and relocked the door with several clicks and clangs.


	9. Georgia's Fiddle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer:I do not own Hetalia; no matter how much I wish I did. Alfred will never be mine. And that makes me sad. D: Forgive my religious mockery I just don't like people chatting me up about religion in the morning.

America's House – 9:26 AM

The rustling and banging sounds of a second breakfast being made caused Georgia to open her bright green eyes. Over the constant bickering and scraping of kitchen utensils she could hear the frustration in her sisters voice as she battled against the dishes from the first breakfast. But she could smell the beginning of a fresh batch of eggs, sausage, and wait was that biscuits and gravy? Now most people would have just gone back to sleep but Georgia knew better. When living in a family of fifty plus siblings you are never late to second breakfast.

So being the wise elder state that she is Scarlett pulled over her covers and revealed her bright red footed jammies. However something was off. “Oh right,” she said as she as soon as she realized that the hood had fallen down while she was sleeping. Looking in the mirror Georgia covered her bouncy red curls with the hood adorned with horns. “Much better,” she said to herself.

As she walked towards the large kitchen she spied Kentucky and New York cowering in the threshold of the kitchen muttering about the determined people who keep coming to the door. “They just keep making it worst,” the black haired northerner half-whispered to the southerner. “As if her mood could get any worst. They should just leave us be.” Before her brothers could elaborate further about their ‘mission’ the redhead has bolted back to her room.

With a wicked grin Scarlett picked up her beloved golden fiddle and practically danced her way to the sound of the doorbell.

Without a moment’s hesitation she Georgia happily unlocked and opened the front door. The ‘visitors’ quickly began their spiel, “Good morning miss, we are hear toda-“. It only took about a half a second for the two middle aged men on Alfred’s porch to notice her outfit.

Just as one of the men was about to continue with a slight tremor in his voice Georgia pulled the fiddle out from behind her back and he stopped at once. He once again tried to continue when she lifted the bow and pulled it across the golden fiddle that was gleaming in the morning light. That made the men take a step back in shock; and that was when things really went bad.

Scarlett began to saw on her precious fiddle as is her life and her people’s lives depended on it. Each eerie note assaulted the poor missionaries’ ears and eventually caused them to flee in order to be free from the melody. Without missing a beat she called out to their retreating forms, “Y’all come back now ya hear!”

Even after the men were long gone Georgia kept playing her fiddle and only after several minutes she finally stopped and took a bow to her imaginary audience and closed the heavily locked door behind her and made her way towards breakfast.


	10. Mississippi's Jimmies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer:I do not own Hetalia; no matter how much I wish I did. Alfred will never be mine. And that makes me sad. D: Forgive my religious mockery I just don't like people chatting me up about religion in the morning.

America's House – 9:58 AM

The happy-go-lucky music produced by Georgia's fiddle awoke a few more of the previously sleeping members of the American household. Mississippi was one of them and with a yawn she rolled out of her bed onto the wooden floor with a loud thud. She rested there for a moment until she heard the ringing of the doorbell.

She ignored it at first and rolled over on her side to look into the beady eyes of the possums that had been awoken by the noise. The doorbell rang again and Shelby sighed to herself and she reached under the bed to scoop up the three marsupials. The brunette stood and stretched with the animals tucked under her arm. 'Isn't anyone going to answer the door?" She called out into the house. When she didn't receive a response she turned to the alarm clock on her bedside table to check the time. Second breakfast, wonderful.

Anther ring got her moving from her room and down the stairs. She peaked down the main hall and into the kitchen and saw the aftermath of her family's meal and shook her head in both envy and disgust. She raised one the possums to look it in the eye and said, "We're probably better off with the door than that train wreck."

She almost didn't notice the opaque figure hiding in the hall until it perked up at her presence. Her uncle was seeking refuge and waved to her. "I doubt anyone else is going to answer it and they haven't given up until someone does," He said quietly.

The ringing was beginning to get on Shelby's nerves and she turned to give a death glare to the source of her annoyance. The animals in her arms whined as they were slightly squeezed in her frustration. She stomped her way to the door and listened through while she quietly unlocked the locks. With a great force she wrenched the heavy door open right as one of men outside was about the ring the bell.

Whether the surprise on the men's faces came from her sudden appearance or the fury visible on her face wasn't sure but it made her feel a bit better.

"Who wants some Jimmies?" She asked them much to her confusion

Before they were able to gather their wits and start their religious spiel she gave them a cruel smile and raised one of the animals in her arms and threw it into the face of the man who rang the door.

"Jimmies! Jimmies all around!" She said as she launched the third possum at their feet.

The possum latched itself to the man and he began to yell and attempted to pry it off. The other man tried to help buy wound up with possum of his own on the top of his head.

Canada appeared behind her and attempted to save them, "I recommend getting off the property or they won't let go."

The continued to scream useless but took his advice and ran down the driveway. Once they were a few houses away the marsupials detached themselves and scurried back into the house. Feeling satisfied Shelby followed the taller blond inside and closed the door behind herself.


	11. South Carolina's Disease

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer:I do not own Hetalia; no matter how much I wish I did. Alfred will never be mine. And that makes me sad. D: Forgive my religious mockery I just don't like people chatting me up about religion in the morning.

America's House – 10:11 AM

Lauren had stuffed the last bite of cereal from her bowl of Fruit Loops when Mississippi strolled into the kitchen seeking her own breakfast. The brunette was boasting about the horrified screams that she elicited from the solicitors at the door.

She tilted her head to the side with her spoon still in her mouth and listened in, "You should have heard them…" Shelby drawled out before Texas cut in.

"We did hear them honey," the much taller blonde shook her head and pointed at the overflowing table full of the states awoken by all the commotion. "Good luck getting' yer breakfast now."

Shelby's face instantly took a 180 degree turn as she realized someone had gotten into her box of cereal. Lauren looked down at her bowl and slowly edged away from the counter and tried to silently place her dish and spoon in the sink.

Somehow she managed to seek past her raging sister and make her way into the rest of the full house. She was about to return to her room to change when she heard the doorbell ring and she instantly hoped that these were the same people who had visited earlier.

The strawberry-blonde got a devious smile on her face as a plan developed in her head. She nearly bounded toward the door avoiding the body of New Mexico who was dozing against the wall of main staircase. A freshly caffeinated Hawaii was watching her head to the door and made a face and almost tried to warn her but shook it off to watch some television in the family room instead.

The bell had rang another two times before Lauren managed to get it open, but once she did she put on an insanely bright smile on her face and said, "Good morning~"

The man and woman at the door looked at her suspiciously knowing what had happened to the people sent before them.

"A-ahem, good morning miss, we are here to talk you about the Lord."

"Is that so?" She asked in a sing-song tone. "I'd love to hear what yo-", she stopped suddenly and made a shocked face and grabbed her arm.

The couple stood in shock and were about to go on when she fell suddenly and started writhing on the porch moaning in fake pain.

"Miss, are you okay?" The man asked in concern.

"Y-you have to go…! Before it's too late…" she said as she writhed and started to tear at her clothes.

The started to step back in fear when she spoke again, "Go, before you catch it too!"

That got them running from the porch and after a minute or two she burst out laughing at their reactions. She rolled around for a while before rising to her feet and returning inside to wind up face to face with Shelby.

"What's so funny, cereal-breath?" the brunette asked with a glare.

Lauren gulped and took off at full speed down the hall with her sister close behind.


	12. Wisconsin's Chocolate Milk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer:I do not own Hetalia; no matter how much I wish I did. Alfred will never be mine. And that makes me sad. D: Forgive my religious mockery I just don't like people chatting me up about religion in the morning.

America's House – 10:27 AM

As the last of the states make their way out of bed and towards any means of breakfast, Wisconsin was fixing a brunch of his own. In a less busy part of the kitchen he had begun to mix up a huge thermos of his favorite morning drink. As he squeezed nearly half of the contents of the Nestle chocolate syrup from the container he heard the doorbell ring.

He stopped and looked around noticing that none of the other states seemed to notice or that the ones who were not half-asleep or food-driven didn't notice and the others seemed to ignore it for other reasons. He had yet to hear the other states complaining about the previous morning visitors in his pursuit of breakfast.

He stuck the tablespoon into the cup and began stirring the milk around and watched as the white began to steadily turn to the nice color of cocoa. The bell rang once again and her removed the spoon and stuck it into his mouth to make sure the taste was right. Samuel allowed himself to savor the taste of the drink before he took another spoonful.

The bell rang throughout the house and with a third spoonful in his mouth he decided to make the effort of answering the door. He passed through the main hall and heard the sound the television blaring in the family room and peeked through the door to see California, Texas, and Arizona sprawled on the large sofa leaving poor Florida on the floor. His father was forced to share the recliner with D.C. who had stolen the remote in order to watch reruns of his favorite yellow sponge.

Wisconsin smiled around the utensil in his mouth and eventually made his way to the door as it once again rang out. He put his thermos down on the table beside the front door and pulled it open to find a woman with a young child on the porch. The woman had magazines in her freehand and the young girl just stared up at Samuel.

"What do you think of the world's suffering?" The woman started out, as she attempted to get his attention.

Samuel turned to look at her with the spoon still in his mouth and tilted his head to the side in thought before he took the utensil out and said, "The world isn't suffering, only the people. Like me. I'm suffering!"

He threw down the spoon and took a big swig of chocolate milk before continuing, "I'm suffering without chocolate milk!"

The woman wrapped her arm around the girl and they stepped away from Wisconsin as he began swinging the thermos around violently and milk splattered on the porch. "The world just needs chocolate milk!"

"EVERYONE LIKES CHOCOLATE MILK!"

The two were already down the driveway by the time Samuel had calmed down and picked up his lost spoon. He laughed to himself and took another swig of what little milk was left in the thermos before he turned around to go back inside and continue with his brunch.


	13. California's Nightmare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer:I do not own Hetalia; no matter how much I wish I did. Alfred will never be mine. And that makes me sad. D: Forgive my religious mockery I just don't like people chatting me up about religion in the morning.

America's House – 10:45 AM

When Wisconsin returned inside he passed through the living room and spied his sister California sprawled out on the couch along clutching at her over-sized Shamu plush. When he realized she was asleep he grabbed the remote from the sofa and clicked off the television before making his way into the kitchen.

The platinum blonde kept snoozing for a while until she started to shift and groan in her sleep.

"No, don't kill Shamu…" she mumbled as visions of people attacking her beloved killer whale, "You can't kill him…whales are special."

Marcella became more restless as her nightmare continued to play out much to her distress, "I won't let you!"

The sharp ring of a doorbell through California for a loop and coupled with the lack of white noise from the television is managed to awake her from her sleep with a fright.

She darkly tanned girl sat up straight and quickly looked around for any potential attacker as she protected the plush in her arms.

The second ring of the doorbell caught her immediate attention and she narrowed her eyes and quietly got to her feet and walked through the connecting hallway and to the large and currently unlocked door with ease.

Marcella stopped just behind the door to assess the threat when she heard whispers from the outside, "Are you sure we should be doing this?"

"Well that last time did not succeed. We have to keep trying."

"The last time they nearly got assaulted by a madman with chocolate milk!"

The blonde was confused by the conversation but she didn't allow it to dissuade her from her mission and she primed herself for the attack as the doorbell was pushed once more.

Silently she grabbed the door knob and pulled it open with an incredible force and stared at the two men on the porch in front of her.

The men stared at her like deer in a headlight and before they could compose themselves or even start their spiel she lifted the huge plush above her head with murderous intent.

Marcella let out a shill war cry and began to bash the two men alternatively wildly and in their shock they were unable to block the blows at first. The two quickly began to run from the deranged girl wielding her Shamu plush through the yard and down the street.

California stopped when she reached the sidewalk and continued to shake the plush in her hand in their direction and yelled out, "Let that be a warning!"

She stopped to catch her breath before she continued, "All threats will be returned with force!"

Feeling satisfied with herself she fixed her wild hair and turned on her heel to make her way back up with the house with her abused plush in tow.


End file.
